yeah and pigs will fly...

After spending most of my existence trying to be Ms Goody two shoes, as in typically boring character overly sweet to people to the extent that if one steps on my toes(in the process leaving a scratch mark on my new expensive shoes and break my newly pedicured and polished nail) and I would still say "No I am fine" for all you know I may even throw a "sorry"(for putting my toes under your shoes). Now I want to really change myself bole toh totall.. tranformation, I want to be a shrew and that too a very talented one*Seriously*. I am not joking here and am not even making this statement because I haven't updated my blog for what seems decades and still dont have anything to write. I seriously want to be a Lalita Pawar albeit a good looking and smarter younger version but the basic ingredients would still be the same. Then I'll wreak havoc on the people who have been stepping on my toes too often(figuratively...) and would give them a piece of my mind and as of last nano second my new boss tops the chart. Now to be frank we all gave him the benefit being new to a company with all old faces and names, so much so that we even covered his faults in the initial days but for how long can that continue. As in what does one do if the fellow doesnt read his mails, gives extremely funny suggestions in the middle of serious meetings(seriously its not even funny) and add to that a failing memory. So much so that after being around for few months now he doesnt even remembers name of one of the known faces of the company who is an extremely popular PM and interestingly one guy he meets most often in meetings. After being corrected 10759 times(or is it 11000 now since its been few hours) on his name when this fellow was called something else again, he almost came charging to me(being a good friend) "Somya agar tere boss ne mere ko ek baar aur galat naam se bulaya toh main uska murder kar doonga". Well offcourse I told him next that"Dont worry I wouldn't let you steal this good deed from me" and for all you know I may even get moksha(release from cycle of rebirth) finally and would go beyond such silly bosses and their buffoonery. Believe me it was an extremely happy thought till the time I was called for another meeting with the boss.

So as you must have understood from the first paragraph of this post that nothing spectacular is happening in my life. My partying life is experiencing lifetime high as I attended 3 birthday parties of kids of my colleagues and have invitation for other two next week. Nowadays my life is pretty much limited to home to work and vice versa schedule(with whatever time being left spent on attending birthday parties). If nothing this has certainly led to my popularity soaring in the 2-6 year age group, since I cannot make use of my creativity at work(as my entire day is spend running from one meeting to another) and I am hardly spending any time at home, so I ensure that I do a good job at buying gifts for these toddlers. For all you know I may soon replace Pt. Jawahar Lal Nehru and may become eternal aunty amongst the kids(please make note of the depth of pessimism). In any case word "Aunty" has never given me 440 volt ka jhatka since because of the age difference amongst we siblings I became a mausi at a very tender age. Needless to mention due to my naivety and nubileness I was exploited quite a lot by my sisters who made me babysit their kids and left me alone with them for hours and encouraged them to call me "aunty" in public places like Malls, movie halls, parties etc. In the initial days I smartly used to behave as if It wasnt meant for me but then I finally gave up. Well jokes apart I really love my nephews from the core of my heart;-)*just wanted to sound really cheesy*. So today even if an 80 year old walks up to me and calls me "Aunty" I know I wouldnt even bat an eyelid(since with age one tends to lose eyesight and mental retardedness knows no age barrier- if you dont believe it I'll show you my boss).

Next week is my best friend Shweta's birthday and I am throwing a surprise party for her which isnt surprise for her any longer and she has already threatened me with dire consequences if I am late for the surprise party I am throwing for her. No she is not planning to make me drink arsenic laced glass of iced tea but more like an hour's session capturing her singing talent. I guess that did it and I am planning to take a leave that day and go and sit at the party venue 7am onwards(dont want to take risk when it comes to her singing talent). So here's wishing her a very happy birthday!

Thats it for now and hopefully I would be back soon with some new idiosyncrasies and stupidities in my life...

Adios!

ps: we all have two sides of our personality...and I am not any different but in my case its not angel or devil but the dreamer and the realist. So nowadays one single stupid thought crosses my mind quite frequently and pat comes the reply from within "...and yeh pigs will fly"....obviously the dreamer side of my personality tries to be creative and paraphrases it all the time but then the smart realist catches it all the time.

Sunshine thy name...

Well last three weeks have been quite melodramatic both professionally and personally with enough filmy quotient that would make a bollywood potboiler drown itself in spoon full of water. Sometimes I really wonder if God just loves throwing my life in a tizzy atleast once in a year so that I dont become complacent and start taking things for granted. So ostrich's head for now is out of sand...but the poor bird is still wondering if its time for a good run or to put head back into the sand and just ignore everything thats happening around. Well that time will tell...there are certain things which should just be left on time.

Sometime around the start of this year I had watched this highly recommended movie "Bucket list" which starred Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman(btw wonderful movie, must watch) which prompted me and friend of mine to create our own bucket list. Well I am as conventional in most of my ways as they come but that day while checking our bucket list we realised that mine's was a lot more weirder than my friend's list who is perhaps more adventurous and well travelled than me(and certainly hell lot more weirder than me). So finally on sunday I managed to tick off atleast a single item from that list. Though later after the excitement was over I wondered if what I did was sensible but then it doesnt hurt to behave once in a while as if you are completely devoid of any good sense unlike someothers I know who behave all the time like that. Hmmmm..there are lot more items to be ticked off and though I am not too sure if I would be able to accomplish them before I kick the final bucket(figuratively speaking) but atleast the ones which just need a bit more of coming out of shell for me sure look a lot more achieveable to me...for the rest I would need a lot more luck on my side than what I seem to be having nowadays.

Well the highest point in my life last three weeks and perhaps the best time in professional life finally came in the form of a mail from "Big Boss" where in he appreciated me for a lot of things which as per me were going unnoticed. Needless to mention that made my day and by the end I had harped about this to almost everyone amongst my friends circle, family(well I know conceit is my another name). As in I have been working with him closely from last 2 years, so finally when this mail came it made me feel as if I have arrived(finally..). The next best moment was when my mentor and former manager at work under whom I joined told me that during one of the session of hers with Big Boss she had told him that she sees a lot of herself in me. Ooh now this was like cherry on the icing since I have always been inspired by her, the way she maintains her cool even in the most adverse situations and her optimistic way of looking at things(and do I even need mention her intelligence and level of knowledge here). This was my first job after my masters, where I learned most of what I know today, where I met people I had never thought they existed(atleast in professional scenario). Well I guess I am becoming too emotional here but then what the heck I am emotional about my job, my organisation, my colleagues(no good looking dudes here though). I just have one big complaint here is that the HR team in my organisation doesnt hire good looking people anymore as in I was the last one hired in that category so you can yourself very well imagine what a drought we have been experiencing:-(

On the Personal updates well least said the better. Lets says I am in the process of developing a new perspective to life and I refuse to mope on any shortcoming that I had 10 years back(funny as it may sound their is some solid background to this comment of mine).

Sunshine thy name...
clouds dont scare me anymore
storms I know never stay for long
and only cowards cower when thunders roar
I am the original sunshine gurl
I look up to the new sunrise
the winking face of the new hope within the sheet of haze
I never stand still for I have only learnt to fly
resting and moping is just not my style

I know this doesnt sound or look like a poem, has no rhyming(like twinkle twinkle or rain rain or jab tak rahega samose mein aloo) but atleast you can appreciate my progress from the last poem I had written on the nose digger in my office. Atleast if nothing my subject has improved and for the rest well we can always hope....;-)

Also any suggestions if one wants to take retirement/sanyas and wants to go toward Himalayas(for climatic reason..u c its more pleasant there if one has to live w/o ac and electricity) which peak/mountain/hill one should choose for making kutiya/hut. Your help would be most appreciated here...

Till the next one...Adieus and take care

Present state of mind:-(

Have you ever wished you were a ostrich and could put your head in the sand and just ignore everyone around you. Hmmm...if yes then thank you! this really reassures me that I am not the only one around who thinks weirdly.

Somya and her 75th post *written under gunpoint*

A few observations:
1. Whats maddeningly deadly combination? Daler Mehandi and Mika appearing together on Salman Khan’s show Dus Ka Dum with questions being asked like “how many men in this country think that rakhi sawant would make an ideal wife”. Seriously if you have even a gram of grey matter where there is supposed to be 1500gms of it you’ll understand what I am trying to say.
2. Whats even more maddening? A girl sitting next to you shrieking every 30 second “oh isn’t he looking handsome” “oh he is so cute” “oh my gawddddd….his smile is so good” and no I have nothing against Salman Khan either but its just that I find his Int’l airport accent too hard to tolerate that too coupled with a otherwise quite intelligent girl behaving like a bimbette while watching him on the television.

Since I have been missing for sometime from the blogging scene so whatever I was upto woh sab batana toh banta hai(sorry I guess my grey cells are still reeling from the DKD impact). Well I have a new boss to make my life all the more interesting(..or hell to be more precise). Actually since past few months I was cribbing a lot of about my big boss(thankfully who still runs the show) and was missing my college days a lot. So woof…(magic wand moves and smoke engulfs me)…and I have a new boss who makes my old boss kum big boss look like an angel(complete wth horns being replaced by halo) and interestingly he(ie new boss) talks as if he is repeating the chapters from the Principles of Management book he read that morning. So all we hear from morning till evening are words like “mission”, “vision”, “objectives” and “strategies” and I can bet on this that even while sleeping he keeps on chanting these magical words. Naturally since then I have lost sight of all of these in my life.

Personally I am reading as many books as I can…and Nicholas sparks is my man nowadays…I am through with three of his books “A walk to remember”, “Message in a bottle”, “The notebook”….and loved all three of them. Somehow I have always been accused of reading books which have more of emotions and drama content in them than facts but then I cant help it somehow emotions intrigue me a lot more than facts and information. I also read PS. I love you by Cecilia Ahern and Winner stands alone by Paul Coelho recently. Well somehow there are a lot of authors who have not been able to justify the success of initial writings in their subsequent books and I believe Paul Coelho is one of them otherwise a plot which had all the right ingredients to beguile readers somehow withered away after the few good chapters in the beginning. What a waste seriously! PS I love you on the other hand doesn’t have a plot but an interesting journey of a woman trying come out of an irreparable loss i.e death of her husband- "the love" of her life and helping her in this task are the letters left for her by deceased husband. Here its not the plot which holds you but the narration and the fact that you can relate to what the main protagonist of the book is going through and no it doesn’t leave you depressed but rather infuses hope to live and seek happiness come what may. A must read if you are a sucker for emotional romantic novels.

I have always believed that I can talk to everyone (now that talent of mine can never be undermined) but converse with a few people. Today I met somehow I could actually converse with and talk on a even keel. The entire conversations was all centred around the major belief’s running our lives but didn’t even go near any of the details of life. Yesterday much to my surprise I was asked by our Corp Comm. Manager to take one of our official guests out to sec 18 for a tour. Now I have always made my reluctance known in these scenarios but since the request came from someone I could not decline so I had to agree. But I was actually dreading this entire “tour” because while small talks can keep you afloat for sometime but 3-4 hours with someone you don’t know at all can really test your patience. Surprisingly I ended up quite enjoying my time with her(partly because I was helping her shop for her parents and friends before she leaves for her country). Hmmm but the part that kinda really rocked me and made me sit and think was when she asked if I am religious. Now I am as religious as they come in the most traditional manner. I visit temple atleast once a week, observe fasts and do all that would take me closer to the pearly gates as per our great religious scriptures. Whatever might have been the reason but in last few years I have been to more pilgrimages than actual holidays and I am ridiculed for this a lot amongst my friends and colleagues. But somehow I have never thought of all this as a religious activity but more as my way of being close to the god. Nothing more or beyond that…seriously my deifinition ends there. Whenever I wasn’t too happy with something in my life I have fought with god(yes complete with mandir ki ghanti and famous dialougue “ Aaj khush bahut honge tum…..” with sarcasm dripping from my mouth) and I kinda avoided praying for days to come just to mark my revolt but then eventually I always turned around and realised that at the end of the day in a way I did benefit from all that happened. So does that make me religious or human (coz to err is human)…hmmm…well I don’t know…n this made me realise that while I have come a long way but still I don’t have answers to some of the basic things connected to my existence and I haven’t been looking for them either…

So that’s it for now and I hope and pray that I’ll have something to write about (I wish something like my new boss has left our organisation because of a better opportunity somewhere else*god bless that organisation;-)*). In the meanwhile please keep praying for me…
“Itni shakti isse dena data iska patience naa kam hone dena
Yeh chale nek raste pe issko bhool kar bhi new boss ko top floor ki railing ke paas standing dikha mat dena”

Cheerio:-)

Somya in her quest to read translucent destiny

I am sure there is a limit to which a person can droop but when it comes to politicians I am sure there is no such limit. They take it as a challenge as to who can be a lowliest scum on this planet "oh dear so you can do a scam worth these many million...never mind I can do better than you". Also their talent of coming up with ingenuous ways to prove themselves as incorrigible as they are just beats me. As in lets be frank this is some talent! ...not every one can boast of this. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a nationally recognised political party' declaration in the newspaper that they will ban english and computers. Seriously I had to rub my eyes hard to believe what I was reading was actually true. So all you common people enjoy life while you can because soon the stories we had heard from our grandparents about times when there was no electricity, no proper arrangement of clean water, no proper roads would turn into s reality for us soon. Afterall in any case they cannot ensure most of the basic facilities to us then might as well ban them afterall too much of comfort spoils. Today with national elections the choice is not to choose the bestest amonst the best but lets find out the lesser evils amongst the lucifer's of the world and aren't we spoiled for choice here? Well elections are just around the corner so I would like to reiterate the request I had made in one of my posts earlier- "Please vote and make sure that you vote sensibly". Its high time we should get rid of these nincompoops and numskulls sitting at the helm of affairs.

Waise to speak the truth I was quite disheartened like most other Indians when IPL was moved to South Africa because of elections. I was really looking forward to going for Delhi matches but alas...thanks to incongruity of our government they had to be moved outside the country. Last year I got to witness two matches, one between Delhi DareDevils and Kolkata Knight Riders which was washed out unfortunately(so was my mobile*sob sob*) and the second match between Delhi DareDevils and Mumbai Indians which was a dream come true. As in I haven't still got over the fact that I saw Sachin Tendulkar(My "favoritest") and Sanath Jayasurya(one of my favorites) batting together and that too splendidly.

I have also decided to give the reformation of my eating habits a serious try again, as in we all are big time foodies in my family but still when it comes to bad eating habits I'll top the charts. Recently I was asked a question on my eating habits and the important I give to nutrition and I was like "Oops what do I say" as in if I'll tell the other person that from head to toe I am made of junk food then I would be disowned by my family(impression ka mamla tha*long story*). So smartly I flicked this question to my mum who is the most nutrition friendly mum with 50% percent success rate(my 2 elder sisters who have very healthy eating habits), the other 50%(thats me and my brother) were born with the love for anything that could be spelled as disaster so thats no fault of hers. Finally I have decided to turn into a new leaf(for the umpteenth time) and tomorrow onwards I am going to only eat fruits for lunch. Obviously to avoid any further confusions the term fruit has been further defined with serious instructions that Mr McDonald's Mehnat ka phal(fruit of hardwork)*read burger* and similar mehnat ka phals of Barista etc would not be counted as fruits. So may god bless me with endurance and taste to appreciate the fruits as my main staple diet. Amen!

Lots of things are happening around me both professionnally and personally and somehow things are proving to be a bit mind boggling. I can't say I am confused because I know very well what my priorties in life are but what scares me is the unpredictable side of the destiny which can conjure something unimaginable for me but I guess thats life. ..So I guess the best option would be to go as per our good old Dale Carnegie's book "How to stop worrying and start living"-
Lead kindly light.....
Keep thou my feet: I donot ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me

So one step I'll take...till the next one shabba khair and take care!

Somya and her much envied state of vellaness

Have you ever wondered that even smallest of our habits has some connection to our parents. Well travelling light is one dream I could never live upto. I haven't still forgotten my dad's expression when he saw my luggage before leaving for hostel but then obviously I was going for two years and needed all of my ammunition(read clothes and shoes). Then when I was in hostel while coming home during vacations, despite all my good intentions I used to have heaviest of the bags. Now tell me who the hell carries all his/her books home when one knows clearly that one wouldn't touch it even at gunpoint, I used to. It was only thanks to support and kindness of my seniors(n later juniors) that I could safely make it to my place with that bag intact. After lamenting all these years for my this shortcoming and reaching a stage when I was about to blame "foreign/external hand" (like our able central govt does for their every fault n woes) that I realised that this is another quality which I have inherited from my mum(other than hyperactive tear glands). I still remember that while going to my nani's place in summer vacations during our school years, my father always used to wonder if my mum is planning to move permanently to nani's place. Though later my dad realised that this is just part of my mum's entourage and even started suggesting to my mum like an ideal husband if she would like him to hire a truck because he cannot imagine a measly car carrying all those bags. Obviously this used to earn him a killer stare from mum to which I am sure he was quite immune to after all those years of marriage. Coming to that even we kids were quite immune to that popular stare by the time we reached 7-8 years of age(some early achievers we were), obviously otherwise how could have we suvived in our school days after getting kind of marks we used to get at times(or rather many times).

Khair the scene hasn't changed much now that I don't travel much. My father finds my hand bag which I carry to my office, big enough to take for a month long travel and add to that my laptop bag. Thanks to this my brother thinks I am insane, my nephews think I am stronger than triple H(who's that btw) and my friends well as nice as they are, they just pity me:-( and my sisters(lol...) they empathise with me.

So in all life is as good as it can be not that my boss has started adoring me all of a sudden but atleast has agreed to peaceful coexistence and the truth is if I can survive without mailing him, I never mail him, if mailing alone would do then I never call him and I call him only when I want to avoid speaking to him in person. In any case there are so many insufferable people in the organisation that as compared to them I find him no less than an angel and still a few people think I am one of his favourites...excuse me!!!!!

So thats it for now I am on a week long leave since the start of this week, just to spend some vella time at home. I have too much of time on my disposal with no intention to do anything. Also all of a sudden I have taken this liking to all the indi-news channels. I just love the way they treat their viewers as mentally demented people with nothing better to do in their life than being told that Shahrukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan are not celebrating holi this year. "Aaj ki breaking news amitabh bachchan and shahrukh khan iss saal 26/11 mumbai hamlo ki wajah se holi nahi manyenge. Jalsa aur mannat(thats their houses) mein is saal holi nahi kheli jayengi kyunki amitabh bachchan and shahrukh khan iss saal 26/11 mumbai hamlo ki wajah se holi nahi manyenge."Believe me they kept on repeating this dialogue for good 15 minutes in different order with captions of their file photos and that too as a breaking news. My my and we call this information revolution stage. Boy has anyone really questioned them that why aren't we focussing on increasing hold of taliban on Pakistan which has a clear impact on us or what is it government doing to wade off further effects of recession on our economy. This all just reminds of a scene in the much appreciated movie "Wednesday" where this news correspondent declares some drunkard as "Current baba" who suruvived being electrocuted and as in reality this too was shown as a breaking news.

Wish you all a very happy and colorful holi! Have fun:-)

Nothing But Pure and Unadulterated Blabbering

Come January- February everybody in India seems to be getting married with all those wedding processions blocking traffic every where you go, man and women dressed in best of their fineries, your post containing more wedding invitations than new year cards, with afternoon discussions between aunty’s drifting from their favourite saas- bahu serials(are there any left btw with Kyunki and kahani going off air) to who is getting married to whom and why(now “why” certainly rules the show as its kinda competition who would come up with the most spicy and scandalising twist to the story) and if you are umarried(like me) then this is one time when your parents start droning how difficult their son/ daughter is and how much efforts they are putting in to find “the one” and how they have asked from maid to the milk man to every damn relative to help them out, all this while you are wondering(or rather praying) that they won’t resort to getting pamphlets(your profile n pic) distributed along with the morning newspaper. Okay okay I admit I am getting hyper but aint this be classified as a normal reaction after spending an entire Saturday in the company of well meaning but snoopy relatives on the occasion of your cousin’s(lets call her R) engagement. Thankfully not much damage was done because I was really hungry so either I was busy eating or else thinking what all I can eat.

Still in all it was an interesting afternoon spent though I would have liked it better if it would have been minus that incessant marriage chatter and cheek pulling and pinching done by lot of aunties (as in I am not chubby at all…never was! So it was kinda very irritating). Talking of kids, we had this really typically kiddie funny moment while we were there. It was after rings had been exchanged and everybody was like standing around the couple congratulating them. This little chit of a girl, my three year old niece materialised out of nowhere started pulling my cousin R’s hand to grab her attention and then asked her in loudest of volumes “Mausi won’t you introduce me to your husband(to-be)”. Aha some self importance this kiddo had. Also my little naughty nephew has managed to secure an admission(rather his parents have managed) in the same school as his elder brother goes to. This news held same importance to my sister as “India winning world cup” to my jijaji. Poor girl couldn’t control her tears while giving me this good news and considering the fact 1.75L children in Delhi have not been able to manage admission anywhere(due to lack of recognised schools in Delhi with kindergarten) I wouldn’t really term this as overreaction.

Also just to warn all of you a very deadly disease is on the prowl in the corporate and no its not recession. This is one disease which only targets bosses or people in higher management. Though I am not too sure what is the medical name for it but lets call it “my-mind-has-cracked-but-I-am-always-right-mania” for the sake of simplicity. Well now my dear boss whom till few weeks back…I guess months back I used to think of as a very reasonable and superintelligent fellow, is in the last stages of this disease. Also condition has been further aggravated by mid age crisis. So you see now neither dawa(medicine) nor daru(liquor) would work on him and dua(prayers) in general are more like homeopathic medicine which’ll take aeons to cure even a sneeze. So what I need is nothing less than a miracle or new job away from him and to be frank with you all I am fine with eitherJ